As children of the ‘90s, it’s our utter responsibility to know at least two of any of the following properties: The Transformers, Thundercats, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Carebears, Visionaries and GI Joe. (Although it’s really not that hard to see that Optimus Prime = God)

First off, I’d like to share Dave Willis’ sentiments concerning the movie — my reaction is like the sound of a dying pulse, until it turns into one long “beep” sound. (Yes, I can say that I can die now that I’ve seen the Transformers movie, but … in a good way.)

Second, The Transformers being icons of pop culture, didn’t fail in including all sorts of inside jokes and references (the VW in the used car lot, for one) for fans of the old show. (The cast was also heavily laden with stars we know from different shows/movies — why is Sucré in the army? Frank Catton’s the car salesman! How come Carla Santini’s such a nice girl? Isn’t he that boy from Even Stevens?! Megatron is Agent Smith!)

Third, it’s pretty hard to please fans, so I tried watching it without all the backstory of the cartoons, this movie obviously being set in a different universe than anything that’s come before it. (Plus, the franchise gets rebooted, say, every other year or so anyway.) Instead of ranting/praising about each thing, I kept a list in my head of stuff I liked, and questions I had in mind, you know, just so you wouldn’t have to read through it in detail, to not spoil your enjoyment.

* Bumblebee’s off-screen triumph over Barricade

* Intarweb talk — provides comedy gold — funny dialogue juxtaposed with Cullen’s (Optimus Prime, yo) delivery just hits the comedy nerve.

* Where’d Scorponok disappear into? La la la

* Megan Fox (Carla Santini, yeh)

* Sector 7 = serious MIB mofos when we first see them turned comedic relief when they finally see the Autobots.

* “That Bad Boys 2” shot. (Yeah, you know what I’m talking about.)

* Why does Optimus Prime have a mouth?! Logically, he doesn’t need a facemask/mouthguard anyway, since, you know, he probably doesn’t have teeth, but yeah, IT JUST LOOKS WRONG! Haha

* Hugo Weaving on being Megatron: it’s not as bad as we thought it’d be. Seriously, I was thinking he’d go Agent Smith, “So, Optimus, we meet again.”

* No Ark, no autobot city and no Metroplex = autobots trying to fit in a house. (Extremely funny)

Don’t let these minor details hamper your viewing though, I just get obsessive most of the time. And that’s what I get for having low, low expectations, the enjoyment of my inner 5-year-old. Michael Bay did it — he made me believe cars could transform. I’m seeing it again this week! Woohoo!

(As a side note, since when did having a good time at the movies need social consensus? The couple beside me moved a seat away — and within earshot, the girl goes, “I’d love to sit there — if it weren’t so noisy!” Da fuck? So what if wanton destruction makes me giggle? Guess who was laughing the hardest when the “Baby Come Back” part went on. Also, idiots still turn on their phones inside cinemas. And this just goes to show that we are living under a participant culture of sorts … I’m not even sure if these kids got to watch the cartoons as kids.

P.S. I gave her the finger. And I started clapping during the end credits. People followed.)

P.P.S. Naiyak ako.



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