Posts Tagged ‘growth


no GOTS no glory.

(picture not related)

What’s a true friend?  Is it a.) someone who accepts you for who you are, or is it b.) someone who wants you to be better?  My friend Nash has an interesting take on it — “the guy who works at McDonald’s??? — he accepts you for who you are — is he your true friend???”

I’m taking my pick — letter b.  (Circling the letter, and then filling the little circle in with my number 2 pencil.)

I’ve no idea what girls do — but men don’t make friends;  we cultivate brothers.  Brothers (the closest definition to what I could tell, sibling-less yow) are people I could trust to keep my secrets, people to discuss my ideas with — people who aren’t afraid to be brutally honest if it was for my own benefit.

The way I see it, my mom was always right — in all those years thinking that I couldn’t live up to whatever the standard of the day was, my mom kept pushing me to be the person I could be.  She wasn’t doing it for her, it was all for me.  True friends are like that, I guess.

What’s your answer?


relationshit talk.


Am I attracting all this talk about relationships? Yes, I did ask questions a few weeks back, (for a study) but damn — it’s like everyone you ask about relationships give you “professional” advice, based on their experience.

(Then you could argue that, “no, this one’s different!” to which you could conclude that, generic “depende yan sa tao” advice will soon follow.)

A fun talk with my friend Rix earlier reveals that, yes, during relationshit troubleshooting sessions, men and women tend to answer differently. Men use logic to solve problems. (x=x) Women tend to raise an emotional qualifier to the equation, (for their careful consideration) so — x=x ONLY IF / UNTIL y=x. (Where y is the emotional factor … I was never good at math with letters.) Therefore, most of the time, what is said with emotion is broken down logically in a boy’s mind. Applying the transitive property, what is said logically is broken down emotionally in a girl’s mind.

Drama. I can live without drama (and if you ask me how come, I’ll explain it to you as logically as I could, based on my experience. chicken – egg.) — then my friend Poch came up with the perfect metaphor: drama is the fuel that makes relationships run. Why fuel? It’s VERY expensive, HIGHLY flammable and it pollutes EVERYTHING.

Some people are gas-guzzlers, while others are fuel efficient. 🙂

Is it needed anyhow? Is it the necessary evil for the good parts in a relationshit? Why? Says who?

But what do I know … I’m talking from experience. Now excuse me while I get a glass of Coke.

(Slightly related: what’s a dentist’s lovelife like? Do you have to have perfect teeth to flash them, or do you have to have rotten ones, so that they could fix you?)


relating: objectivity and subjectivity.


(This is best-read with an open mind and maybe some salty snack with an ice-cold beverage … or a smoke!)

I had this article idea in my head on relating how men and women see each other, … and my respondents say it can’t be done, as long as I have personal attachment to the topic. My attachment being my interest in my current and future relationships with women in / and soon to be in my life.

[I firmly believe that you can’t not be subjective when it comes to most things (everything for me, gonzo, baby!) — and relationships can’t be different. Humble enough to hear out (and mostly block, in favor of my own beliefs) other people’s ideas, I asked a question.]

“What do men’s magazines contain?”

The usual — articles on booze, cars, video games, gadgets … and pictures of women in skimpy outfits.

“Do men think that those pictures are what’s ‘sexy’?”

Yes. (But why?)

“Does it represent what a woman’s sexuality is all about?”

No. (Says, the respondent, and I concur.)

Now I think that’s where most men (including me, yes) fail — we live in the shadow of social programming stereotypes set by cavemen. “Sexuality” is a charged word — it’s loaded with all sorts of meaning, but when asked what it is for both men and women, I couldn’t come up with a clear, concise answer. I was raised by tv, movies, and magazines to think that legs, boobs, and butts are sexy. That, in my adolescent years, cleavage lines tickle me funny, and would cause naughty peeks of adoration. (But when you think about it, it’s just a line.) And that innuendos and indecent proposals for the commodities (da sex-ay lady parts) are a step into actually getting to them is forever written off.

So what conclusion do I end up with? I find that compassion works best. Men, underneath all the testosterone are just people. So are women, underneath the social pressure of how they’re supposed to act, they’re just people.

I did mention that men fail because of not knowing the distinction, and where exactly do men fail? (And just how many questions am I raising, and how many question marks am I putting in?) Men fail with most of their relationships (at present and future) with women because we see them through cavemen-social-programming lenses.

That, they (women) are fulfillers of men’s fantasies. That, women have power over men. That, there are feminists and chauvinists, when men have power as well.

(And by this point, the respondent (two become one) says something about taking years to get this all together. Though her (uy, babae!) participation has given me a glimpse of what motivates, empowers and enlighten women. And yes, I’ve started the last three sentences and a couple more above with a conjunction.)

So what’s my final say? Be compassionate with everybody. Men and women, both are people on the inside, regardless of social programming. Spend time with the opposite gender, find out what motivates them to do what they do. Find out why they worry about something that you think is stupid. (It’s easy to dismiss something as stupid when we know nothing about it. Obviously I didn’t get the point why women fret over broken nails.) Find a way to break the social programming barrier, and you’re in touch with the real person — and isn’t that a pretty major breakthrough?

And I could be wrong. Coming from a 22-year old, someone older or wiser must’ve tried to crack this nut long before I was born, but as long as there’s someone to dispute my beliefs then I’m happy. Having gotten my beliefs challenged by the respondent has shown me that when you elicit someone’s values, that’s as good as getting in touch with the person inside, (making it subjective!) and as long as I’m alive with women like that, then I can say it’s a joy to have to live through this little idea, because that shows equal effort on both sides, making that small step to equality in women and men via person-to-person respect.


on living forever.


Relaying some information I’ve learned from my “brother” to write this article, my boss Laz asked the question: “so, how does it feel to get your article published?” Of course the question was drowned out in the sound of the bacchanalian festivities going on at our table, and with it, my answer — I love it.

Like I’ve told him the first time we talked, I like to write, do doodles and create stuff. It’s a great way to live forever.

As Steve Pavlina puts it in this podcast (right-click and choose “Save As…”, 30:08 minutes, 13.8 MB), “[creative self expression] is that state of flow, that timeless state you’re in, where you’re not really aware so much of what you’re doing, it’s more of a sense of being, you’re right there in the moment, you’re in the present moment, expressing naturally who you are.”

I love the truth. My love for it has opened doors that utilize my creativeness to spread it. Those doors are maintaining a blog, talks with my friend Kash on starting a magazine to champion print media, my chance at writing for the site, my secret life as a tabloid writer (oops, haha) and my application as contributor for WeirdAsiaNews. (Truth in the form of outrageous headlines.)

Spreading “The Truth” and honing my skills at the same time? Growth, bey-beh.

I mean, come on, my brain is my source of income — if I wanted to do physical labor, I would’ve worked out more. 🙂

[10292007 edit: Earlier this week, the same “brother” asked me if he could post one of my older articles on his site. Published twice in one week? Winnery! Woohoo!]


Protected: what i do on friday nights.

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prosperity ebooks.

(Click the book cover to download, PDF format.)




happy birthday, jam!

Happy birthday, you redhorse-chugging, symmetric-dimple-having, preschool-teaching teacher you.

On a side note, it’s been a full year since the magic started. Not that the skill has been fully-honed, it’s just that everyday’s a new day for discovery.

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your mind will go pi.hrudu@plurk.robopopjunk! cavefeci abditum.damit co.proudly pinoy!

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