Posts Tagged ‘relationships


relationshit talk.


Am I attracting all this talk about relationships? Yes, I did ask questions a few weeks back, (for a study) but damn — it’s like everyone you ask about relationships give you “professional” advice, based on their experience.

(Then you could argue that, “no, this one’s different!” to which you could conclude that, generic “depende yan sa tao” advice will soon follow.)

A fun talk with my friend Rix earlier reveals that, yes, during relationshit troubleshooting sessions, men and women tend to answer differently. Men use logic to solve problems. (x=x) Women tend to raise an emotional qualifier to the equation, (for their careful consideration) so — x=x ONLY IF / UNTIL y=x. (Where y is the emotional factor … I was never good at math with letters.) Therefore, most of the time, what is said with emotion is broken down logically in a boy’s mind. Applying the transitive property, what is said logically is broken down emotionally in a girl’s mind.

Drama. I can live without drama (and if you ask me how come, I’ll explain it to you as logically as I could, based on my experience. chicken – egg.) — then my friend Poch came up with the perfect metaphor: drama is the fuel that makes relationships run. Why fuel? It’s VERY expensive, HIGHLY flammable and it pollutes EVERYTHING.

Some people are gas-guzzlers, while others are fuel efficient. 🙂

Is it needed anyhow? Is it the necessary evil for the good parts in a relationshit? Why? Says who?

But what do I know … I’m talking from experience. Now excuse me while I get a glass of Coke.

(Slightly related: what’s a dentist’s lovelife like? Do you have to have perfect teeth to flash them, or do you have to have rotten ones, so that they could fix you?)


relating: objectivity and subjectivity.


(This is best-read with an open mind and maybe some salty snack with an ice-cold beverage … or a smoke!)

I had this article idea in my head on relating how men and women see each other, … and my respondents say it can’t be done, as long as I have personal attachment to the topic. My attachment being my interest in my current and future relationships with women in / and soon to be in my life.

[I firmly believe that you can’t not be subjective when it comes to most things (everything for me, gonzo, baby!) — and relationships can’t be different. Humble enough to hear out (and mostly block, in favor of my own beliefs) other people’s ideas, I asked a question.]

“What do men’s magazines contain?”

The usual — articles on booze, cars, video games, gadgets … and pictures of women in skimpy outfits.

“Do men think that those pictures are what’s ‘sexy’?”

Yes. (But why?)

“Does it represent what a woman’s sexuality is all about?”

No. (Says, the respondent, and I concur.)

Now I think that’s where most men (including me, yes) fail — we live in the shadow of social programming stereotypes set by cavemen. “Sexuality” is a charged word — it’s loaded with all sorts of meaning, but when asked what it is for both men and women, I couldn’t come up with a clear, concise answer. I was raised by tv, movies, and magazines to think that legs, boobs, and butts are sexy. That, in my adolescent years, cleavage lines tickle me funny, and would cause naughty peeks of adoration. (But when you think about it, it’s just a line.) And that innuendos and indecent proposals for the commodities (da sex-ay lady parts) are a step into actually getting to them is forever written off.

So what conclusion do I end up with? I find that compassion works best. Men, underneath all the testosterone are just people. So are women, underneath the social pressure of how they’re supposed to act, they’re just people.

I did mention that men fail because of not knowing the distinction, and where exactly do men fail? (And just how many questions am I raising, and how many question marks am I putting in?) Men fail with most of their relationships (at present and future) with women because we see them through cavemen-social-programming lenses.

That, they (women) are fulfillers of men’s fantasies. That, women have power over men. That, there are feminists and chauvinists, when men have power as well.

(And by this point, the respondent (two become one) says something about taking years to get this all together. Though her (uy, babae!) participation has given me a glimpse of what motivates, empowers and enlighten women. And yes, I’ve started the last three sentences and a couple more above with a conjunction.)

So what’s my final say? Be compassionate with everybody. Men and women, both are people on the inside, regardless of social programming. Spend time with the opposite gender, find out what motivates them to do what they do. Find out why they worry about something that you think is stupid. (It’s easy to dismiss something as stupid when we know nothing about it. Obviously I didn’t get the point why women fret over broken nails.) Find a way to break the social programming barrier, and you’re in touch with the real person — and isn’t that a pretty major breakthrough?

And I could be wrong. Coming from a 22-year old, someone older or wiser must’ve tried to crack this nut long before I was born, but as long as there’s someone to dispute my beliefs then I’m happy. Having gotten my beliefs challenged by the respondent has shown me that when you elicit someone’s values, that’s as good as getting in touch with the person inside, (making it subjective!) and as long as I’m alive with women like that, then I can say it’s a joy to have to live through this little idea, because that shows equal effort on both sides, making that small step to equality in women and men via person-to-person respect.


happy birthday, jaimee!


You (not you, the reader, unless YOU’RE reading this) are the being for whom I count to make invisible the unavoidable blemishes of my soul.


Protected: what i do on friday nights.

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harddisk introspection.

I’ve been netless for 10 days. 10 days is long enough to get a lot of introspection. (bah.) I tried reading A Long Way Down, but the first few chapters dealt with getting on a rooftop and contemplating suicide. (I did finish part 1) So yeah, I put that down for a while, as I might jump off the veranda.

It’s moments like these when you wonder how the makers of spyware, distributors of viruses and hackers are given the privilege, and not you. It’s not like you have to create a justified reason for being online, but seriously, abuse is abuse. This isn’t about bashing the new kids, of course, it’s just that, you pay the bills, you’re tired when you get home, and boom(!), you’re deprived of that service. Kind of like an abusive relationship, you give and give, and you get nothing.

In starting a meaningful relationship, (or a DSL connection) we tend to do a little Cost/Benefit Analysis on whether it’ll be mutually beneficial for both parties. (As far as I know.) I mean, nobody likes being ripped off, right? And when things start going sour, you decide on whether losing that connection, as it’s becoming less of a win-win situation, and makes you think about sinking ships. Then I start to think that the last few sentences aren’t about losing DSL … or are they?

Green Cab Pizza.

Has anyone heard of this place yet? Wow. Apparently they have tons of stores all around the country. Plus, the pizza pictures look tasty. Yum!

For some top secret project, I had to research sites about Men/Women. Then I learned a new term, “Chicken Skin Underarm.” The Truth! No matter what! Hahaha!

Just the other day, watching the modem’s “Link” light continually blink, I was humming the Bucky O’Hare song. That cartoon was awesome.

Trivia: Larry Hama, the original author of Bucky O’Hare also created Snake Eyes/Storm Shadow. Whee!

With all the Transformers talk, I remembered another set of transforming robots from my childhood. Does anyone remember the Colgate robots?

As a joke, when asked what my profession is, I always say “tubero,” to poke fun at those tubero signs scattered all around the metro. Now, my new friend Len asked, “How come in the US, it’s okay for housewives to sleep with Tuberos, Karpinteros and Hardineros, pero here nobody does that?”
She then concluded that all that belonged to those professions here in the Philippines are “manongs,” which is a vague generalization. My theory is that there’s no absolute privacy in the Philippines, and committing such an act will lead you to star in the latest chismis in your neighborhood.

Finally got to see The Transformers movie. As a side note, since when did having a good time at the movies need social consensus? The couple beside me moved a seat away — and within earshot, the girl goes, “I’d love to sit there — if it weren’t so noisy!” Da fuck? So what if wanton destruction makes me giggle? Guess who was laughing the hardest when the “Baby Come Back” part went on. Also, idiots still turn on their phones inside cinemas. And this just goes to show that we are living under a participant culture of sorts … I’m not even sure if these kids got to watch the cartoons as kids.

P.S. I gave her the finger. And I started clapping during the end credits. People followed.)

P.P.S. Naiyak ako.


roots and going in circles.

Home on a Saturday. Never been an outgoing person to start with, and the money-handicap (the ATM ate my card) really puts me back to my roots. Having just woken up, (it’s almost 11) I read a message from someone pretty important about how the past is out of control, the future out of reach and that therefore we should live in the present as best we can. I could not agree more. Plus, I wonder where this interaction’s going.

It’s the punchline to the cosmic joke — as you’re getting used to something, that something tends to change. And I do believe change is a good thing. Change is a means of moving forward, and moving forward’s a way to get through this sweet, sweet life. Plus, complacency probably isn’t that good of a thing, it breeds dependency.

Did I mention that I just woke up? I woke up and remembered: I have no idea what internal portrait of me the “pretty important person” has. Would it be feasible to have that person write it in essay form?

CREEPY SHIT: There’s this girl I refuse to get in touch with since … well, prison isn’t really a good idea yet. (I mean, if you love someone don’t send them to prison, right?) Well, she posted a picture. With a guy. Dammit, the guy kinda looks like me. And to show this to me — can you spell ‘spite’?

To quote Sunset Rubdown’s “The Empty Threats from Little Lord,” ‘There are women with no meaning to their names …. When we say them…’

Which is, of course, 2006’s best truthful quasi-chauvinistic line.

Smoking Loving is better than breathing.

I blow at the ember and watch it devour the whites, to spit it out as gray, gray smoke.

Therefore, to ensure a good future — I want to always keep trying to outdo myself. (Which isn’t too hard, I guess, just ‘being’ a little bit better all the time.)

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